The Jig is up Santa

I’ve known this time was coming for awhile. Cici is 9 years old and the kids at school have been telling her right and left that Santa isn’t real for about a year. She would talk with me about it and question me. Any time I got serious about telling her, she would sense that’s where the conversation was going and then say she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. So, she has known, she just really didn’t want me to say it and make it real. I could tell by her eyes that she was really saying, “I’m not ready to know, Mom.” Well more and more this season, the kids at school are going into more specifics. “I caught my parents wrapping my presents.” “I found the same wrapping paper in their closet.” “My older brother told me.” She started coming home telling Levi what she had heard too. And even though she followed it up by saying, “I still believe though”, I knew her belief was waning.
Last night, we were headed home from the store as it was just getting dark. Levi fell asleep in the car, as he usually does, even at 6 years old. We pulled into the driveway, and Cici asked me why I had wrapping paper in the closet. Now, in all honesty, the wrapping paper in there was not anything I had ever used for the kids presents. But I knew in my heart where this conversation was going. So right then and there in the front seat of the dark car, in whispered voices as to not wake Levi, we talked about the realness of the Santa Claus.

I explained to her that Santa is more of the spirit that Christmas brings. That Santa is not just one person and that it is the magic that parents bring to their children at Christmas time. It’s tradition and love that we share during the holiday. Her eyes welled up and she nodded her head. “I just didn’t know for sure Mom. Is it okay that I’m a bit sad?” Her bottom lip quivered and more tears fell. I knew she was holding back so Levi wouldn’t wake up and hear.  It took me everything not to cry myself as my brave and sweet big girl wasn’t so little anymore. “It absolutely is okay to feel sad. I felt sad too when I found out about your age. But I do think that you will find, as I did, that the magic of Christmas doesn’t go away now. This is a huge milestone in your life where you have earned the big responsibility of helping create Christmas magic for others too. Think of yourself as the new Princess Elf!” She LOVED the sound of that.

So this year is going to be a little different for us.  Cici has enjoyed asking me all the secret details about how everything was pulled off.  She keeps thinking of different things to ask at different times.

“Mom, why do you keep my teeth??!!” (Yes, the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny went down too)

“Mom, so where do you hide the presents.”

“Mom, who else knows??!!”

“Mom, are the packages we keep getting for Daddy’s work really our presents?”

It’s really cute, like she now has this big secret with me and Brandon.  So far, I don’t think she seems still sad.  I think she is enjoying asking for Christmas presents with more intention now.


I just had one of these necklaces customized for Cici, as she has now earned her very own Santa Hat. Almost like a medal, she can wear it and be reminded that she can still believe in Santa in her sweet and generous heart, and help him bring joy to others around her with her kindness.

And as this is just a little gift that I’m giving her to give the whole Santa thing a new perspective, I think I have received the biggest gift in her.  And even though I’m a bit sad too, (I didn’t cry writing this blog post AT ALL, lol) I’m really excited to see the role that Cici takes on this Christmas, especially with her own brother.  Because included in all the things I love about her, she is an AWESOME big sister!  Santa’s got a new helper in town and it’s going to be a Christmas to remember!


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